I have a confession: I’m a Christian…and I sell sex toys.
It’s an unusual combination, I admit, and I’m not entirely sure if my confession is that I am a Christian and I worry what people who support me and my type of business will think of me. Or if I am confessing that I sell sex toys and I am worried what my fellow Christians will think of me. It could be a little of both, but honestly, it’s neither. I’m not worried because I am not ashamed either.
I don’t think that it is impossible to be both a Christian and a purveyor of sex toys.
I could write a book explaining myself, but today, I’m mostly thinking about my parties this weekend. One was an open house and, unlike a regular party, there were men present. Someone asked why men were not usually allowed at parties and so I was explaining the various reasons, including the fact that many women simply aren’t as comfortable and open in front of men as they are in front of other women, even women they do not know well. As I was saying this, the guy in front of me piped up,
Oh, honey, I’m gay. Women tell me everything.
We had a good laugh about this and after the party was over and I was wrapping things up in the ordering room, I asked this gentleman to come back and talk to me a bit. He had an easy manner and fun-loving personality and I decided to take the opportunity to ask some questions about what gay men are looking for in toys and intimacy products. More importantly, I wanted to confirm that some of the information I was giving on anal sex in my demos was correct – and who would know better than a gay man about that?
His explanation was wonderful, funny, and very enlightening to the point that I joked with him that if we were ever allowed to have male Pure Romance consultants, he was going to be the first person I called to sign up. He friended me on Facebook before I left the house for the night. I was humbled by his honesty and openness and truly delighted to have met him.
Outside of this job, I would never have the opportunity for a conversation like that.
My life is and has been very vanilla. I shocked the lingering partygoers late last night when I confessed to them that I was a virgin on my wedding night. I was a ‘good’ Christian girl. I still am, but you don’t run into much diversity hanging out with your average churchgoer. They’ll say we’re all sinners, but then have a difficult time calmly discussing the relative modesty (or not) of yoga pants. Conversing on topics such homosexuality, transsexuality, and unmarried sex is nearly impossible without judgment, hand wringing and upset. And these discussions remain theoretical, because too few of them have ever developed any sort of friendship or rapport with a gay man, lesbian or transexual. In their deliberately sheltered worlds, these aren’t people they get to meet and they continue to keep their distance for fear of being polluted.
The Jews did the same to those who they believed to be immoral and unclean.
But Christ was different. He talked with them, dined with them. He loved them. He treated them like people. He said,
Truly I say to you, that the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. (Matthew 21:31)
I don’t go into my parties to convert people, but I don’t go there to judge either.
I go there to be. To talk. To love. To look other children of God in the eye and treat them with all the grace and dignity they deserve regardless of their sexual orientation, their faith, and their life choices so far and in future.
Christians will tell me now that these people are is still ‘sin’, and maybe further, that I am wrong to do what I do because it encourages it. I say that if one who was sinless finds any of us worthy to dine with, then I will send no one away from my own table and consider them to be good company.